Review: Aaah! Zombies!! (Wasting Away)

Posted on April 17, 2012 by The Goat

AAAH! ZOMBIES!! – WASTING AWAY (2007)

IMDB 5.7/10
ROTTENTOMATOES 50%?

Terrible title/s and terrible cover art, but a surprisingly clever and entertaining film in a genre full of dark and depressing low-budget product.  In a tomato world…I’d say this zombie flick is fresh.

Zombies, zombies everywhere…so much so that the Goat is growing tired of brain-eating, walking dead films.  Alright, not tired, but craving something new…something with a brain!  This is it.  A well-produced, well-written and fairly well-acted one million dollar movie that is smart enough to let the audience in on the joke, so we can appreciate the creativity of the scenarios.  Somewhere between SHAUN OF THE DEAD and SIXTH SENSE sits this little nugget.  How’s that for high praise?

Though the last 30 minutes are not quite as fun as the first hour, and the ending is a little chaotic and illogical…it’s never that bad, in fact, even that stuff is entertaining.  Who am I to be talking “logic” in a zombie comedy film?

If you’re craving a fun zombie movie with a brain…watch AAAH! ZOMBIES!!…or WASTING AWAY…or whatever this is called.

FilmGoat

A  for fresh take on a stale genre

A  for playing the jokes out (watch for zombie bowling scene)

A  for a well-executed film on a low-budget

C  for not re-attaching the head with duct tape (that’s just plain inconsistent)

A-  Overall…a pleasant surprise and worthy “zombie flick”

WARNING:  Good trailer, but might be more entertaining to just watch the film unfold?


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Review: Hardware

Posted on April 15, 2012 by The Goat

HARDWARE (1990)

IMDB  5.7/10
ROTTENTOMATOES  55%

If you can wade thru the first hour of 80′s hair, limited action, and limited acting ability, then the last half hour has some nuggets of goodness.

HARDWARE actually starts out promising on a post-apocalyptic red desert planet.  The cinematography is strong and engaging  as a curious figure walks the wasteland.  Even the next scene has a quality or two…as he walks down the backlit hall to the junk dealer.  But, quickly we realize this is really about an 80′s girl who makes junk in an apartment where she apparently can’t afford to turn on the lights. 

Then…finally…the robot takes over.  This is no TERMINATOR, but he’s believable-ish and can deliver some gory endings.

If you go in thinking it’s a post-apocalyptic, sci-fi, action flick…you’ll be underwhelmed, and maybe asleep.  But if you go in thinking low-budget, under-written, one-location, 3-man play with a handful of special effects, you might enjoy it…maybe.

I waited awhile to watch this one, and maybe I should have waited longer?

FilmGoat

D  for silly, dull script

C   for limited sets and lights

A   for thinking big on a small budget

B   for the effects…when they finally get involved

C   Overall…it’s hard to do sci-fi on a budget, especially without interesting writing or compelling characters.


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Review: Black Water

Posted on April 4, 2012 by The Goat

BLACK  WATER (2007)

IMDB  6.0/10
ROTTEN TOMATOES  79%

Crocodiles, or more specifically, one crocodile vs. three people…in a swamp…in Australia.  Sounds scary, eh kids…but I think they blew their budget for the 2nd Unit shots.  Not that I don’t love seeing bees, and mosquitoes, and sunsets, and mangrove trees in still water…but I get it!

They set it all up with a visit to the “real crocodile farm” to learn everything you need to know to be afraid later…that is, if anything actually happened later. 

Based on a true story, this JAWS want-to-be is more like PARANOMAL ACTIVITY 2 or AMITYVILLE HORROR.  If we have to wait around for something to happen in this “thriller,” at least make the dialogue interesting.  They actually repeat themselves!  Maybe in the “true story” these people had nothing to say, and they wanted to keep it real. 

Critics liked this one, but I never felt the tension or danger and by the time the croc attacks, I’m happy something is happening.  That said, it’s not terrible.   It has good effects when you see them, a  decent croc, acceptable acting and strong cinematography for a tiny movie, but If you want a tale of three stranded people, I’d watch FROZEN over BLACK WATER.

FilmGoat

A  for the croc

A  for it being a true story

D  for the screenplay

D  for the missing tension, conflict and entertainment

C   Overall… felt like a 35 minute movie they “filled” to make feature length.


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Review: Clash (Bay Rong)

Posted on April 2, 2012 by The Goat

CLASH – BAY RONG (2009)

IMDB  5.7/10
ROTTENTOMATOES  54%?

Best Vietnamese  Martial Arts film the Goat has seen in a while…but what does that mean?  Somewhere between DOBERMANN and the MIAMI VICE TV series, this film is packed with “style” and action, as well as soap-opera drama.  Okay, maybe that last part is not so good.

Black Dragon does his best SCARFACE, while Phoenix leads the RONIN-like band of guns-for-hire on an endless mission to retrieve the all-important “laptop.”  Endless?  A bit.

The biggest challenge this film has is making the action and the drama come across as if they are in the same film.  The music doesn’t help.  It spans from a hard-rockin  kung fu techno beat to some weird country-like ditty.

Cinematography, directing, fight choreography and editing are very solid and fun, but unfortunately it makes the rest of the film kind of slow.  What to do?  Must have a plot, right?  I guess.  I suppose every movie can’t be CRANK 2.

FilmGoat

A  for all technical aspects of the film

A  for ass-kicking and gun fights

C  for tired plot

A/F  for the soundtrack…good music, but distracting in this film

B-  Overall…Better than I expected, but then the Goat likes Tubbs and Sonny Crockett.


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Review: The Big Bird Cage

Posted on March 27, 2012 by The Goat

THE BIG BIRD CAGE (1972)

IMDB  6.1/10
ROTTEN TOMATOES  68%?

Sex-starved women in a Filipino prison made of bamboo, run by a Nazi warden and some gay guards.  Throw in Sid “HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES” Haig, Pam “JACKIE BROWN” Grier and put the whole thing under the Roger Corman “let’s make as many movies in a year as we can” production umbrella…and you’ve got magic!

Okay…well, it’s no Academy Award winner, but what is it?  Packed full of ridiculous dialogue, exuberant acting and stunts by locals that may have been paid in beer…this exploitation film has fun with its genre.  A spoofy response to the “women in prison” movies of the early 70′s (many of which were also Corman Productions) THE BIG BIRD CAGE stands out. 

The young and goofy Captain Spaulding and the enthusiastic Grier are so surprisingly compelling, it’s worth the watch.  And when you know that the random local guy…I mean “stuntman” really lights himself on fire…and the other “stuntman” throws himself from a 30 foot tower….for beer, it’s all the more fascinating.

Running naked covered in lard, girls fighting the mud, Sid Haig with his super mustache and belly-shirt….ahh…to be young and making movies in the Philippines.

Viva la Revolucion!

FilmGoat

B  for the sets/location

B  for the directing/writing

B  for the acting/stunts

B  for the tone, passion and the effort

B  Overall…for  ‘B’ movie…for ‘B’ig ‘B’ird cage…for ‘B’ing fun!

WARNING:  Trailer contains brief nudity.


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